The Ultimate Final Fantasy Tournament
by Knights of the Square Table
Summary: See FF, FF2, FF3, FF7, FF8, FF9, FF10 duke it out and see which will become the ultimate Final Fantasy!~Z'Rune [CHAPTER 3 IS UP]
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1:  
  
Here they come; two rounds.  
  
In the beginning there were the Light Warriors who fought against Chaos, next in line were the warriors who fought for the crystals, and then were the warriors who fought against Kefka. In the future time you have the AVALANCHE who fought against Sepheroth, next you have the SeeD who fought against Ultimechia, then the warriors who fought for Terra against Kuja, and finally the warriors who defeated the monster Sin. All brought together to see which is the ultimate... Final Fantasy!  
  
" Here they come ascending into the coliseum, The Light Warriors!" said Beowulf.  
  
" That's right. They saved the world against Chaos!" said Baba.  
  
(Crowed applauses, whistles, hoots, howls, etc.)  
  
" Look at this its the Avalanche, saving the world from Sepheroth!" said Baba.  
  
( Crowed applauses, except for the Shin-ra soldiers)  
  
" Boo, boo, boo get 'em off the stage, kill'em all!" exclaimed the Shin-ra soldiers.  
  
" Flooding in are the Seeds who saved the world! YEAH WOOOOHOOOOOO!" exclaimed Beowulf.  
  
(crickets, cockroaches and lots of other annoying bugs make bug noises.)  
  
" Yeah, oook. Nobody gives a damn," said Baba.  
  
" Look it's the ones who beat that cross-dressing freak, Kuja." said Baba.  
  
( Yells and whistles from most of the guys for Dagger. The girls mutter, " The princess dies at midnight...")  
  
" Hey! I'm am not a cross-dresser... I'm just gender confused. NOBODY understands me!" exclaimed Kuja as he runs out of the coliseum crying.  
  
" It's ok man just walk it off, walk it off." said Beowulf.  
  
" And look it's the guys who saved the world from that one guy. You know the unimportant evil thingy." said Baba.  
  
" Yeah him. That one guy. Ahh hell I can't remember his name." said Beowulf.  
  
(Crowd could obviously not give a damn.)  
  
" Yeah ok. (puts his hand over the mic.) Who the hell is he. It's biting my mind." said Beowulf.  
  
" And last but not least the people who dropped a continent on the planet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. WELL NOBODY GIVES A DAMN, REALLY!" said Beowulf.  
  
" Come on man. Let it go. So what if they dropped a continent on your kitty, just let it go," said Baba.  
  
" Look, Mr. Poppy Pants was my best friend, ok," said Beowulf on the brink of crying.  
  
" Ok man! (slaps Beowulf) It was stuffed! Don't you get it? S-T-U-F-F-E-D. Not real. " exclaimed Baba.  
  
So as the rest of the crowed piled into the old roman style coliseum. The person in the pianist's chair started playing some battle music... it was the FF1 shop music. Needless to say the pianist was shot. Badly. In many places. Like, ya know, places guys shouldn't get shot. The pelvis. Gees, what are you people thinking. Did you think I was going to say his balls. You're so sick. Smack yourselves for being sick. Anyway on with the story.  
  
" The first fight is... Rydia vs. Zidane!" yelled Baba.  
  
" This should be a great fight, Baba." said Beowulf.  
  
" Yep, a real good one. Zidane has speed and strength, but Rydia has the ability so summon monsters. Let's watch..." said Baba as he gets interrupted by the fight.  
  
- On the coliseum battling area-  
  
Rydia: Hah, what a loser. I asked for a man and you send me a, a, a, a, monkey!  
  
Zidane: You called me a monkey! Well I'm gonna kill you, you, you witch.  
  
Rydia: (sigh) oh not another dead guy. And he's was sort of cute.  
  
Zidane: Cute? I'm much more than cute. I'm damn sexy. With a capital s. Oh Rydia, you want beefcake.  
  
Rydia: Not from your funky monkey bakery.  
  
Zidane:(mutter, mutter, swear, swear).  
  
Zidane runs up and attacks Rydia with his daggers. He cuts Rydia's dress at the shoulder.  
  
Rydia: Oh you PERV. Sicko trying to look down a ten year old's dress.  
  
Zidane: Your ten! you can't be ten... (softly out loud) look at her rack.  
  
--- simultaneous interruption from the announcers---  
  
" She's ten?! Wow!" said Beowulf.  
  
" Technically she ten because she went into this freaky warp thing that made her age rapidly when in reality it was like a year or so. So that happened when she was like 8 or 9." said Baba.  
  
" How did you know that?" asked Beowulf.  
  
" It says it on the teleprompter." replied Baba.  
  
" Oh ok, I feel stupid," said Beowulf.  
  
---interruption over---  
  
Rydia: Oh that's too much. I summon thee, Titan!  
  
Titan popping up from the ground: Yes, my lady.  
  
Rydia: Attack that pervervy man.  
  
Titan: Yes, ma'am.  
  
Zidane: Oh yeah! I'll beat this steroid freak!  
  
Titan: Steroid freak?  
  
Zidane (trance): OH yeah. Grand Lethal, Fated Circle, Grand Lethal. Huh how's that?  
  
Titan: Fine.  
  
Zidane: Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy. Grand Lethal, Solution 9, oh yeah, Meo twister, Stellar Circle 5, take that, Shift Break, Scoop Art, hoo haw, Tidal Flame, Free energy.  
  
Oh yeah all tranced out.  
  
Titan: (yawn) (damage counter: 15)  
  
Zidane: (tired) uh uh uh uh... Ok I win.  
  
Titan: (drinks potion) refreshing.  
  
Zidane: That's cheating!  
  
Titan: Look who's talking trance-boy. Earth Shaker!  
  
Titan lifts up the ground and throws a big chunk of it at Zidane, defeating him.  
  
- In the announcer's box-  
  
" Ouch! Poor monkey-boy. He'll be feeling that in the morning, noon. and night," said Beowulf.  
  
" Well we have nothing left but to call the winner, Rydia!" said Baba.  
  
" Now the next fight, Squall vs. Celes bouquet of flowers?" said Beowulf hesitantly.  
  
" This should be interesting, never the less." said Baba.  
  
As Rydia calls Titan back the Moogle Medics pick-up Zidane's body and remove it by chocobo back. They walk of as Squall and the flowers step up to fight.  
  
-coliseum battle floor-  
  
Squall: What the hell is this? Flowers? They will loose.  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: Die, flowers, die and go to hell.  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: (running up to the flowers getting ready to slash it to bits) Take this!  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: (picking up the bouquet) What is that?  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: You love me?  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: Well I love you.  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: (grabs his head) No I can't love.  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: Stop mocking me you wretched flowers.  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: I can't take it any more! Shut up! Shut up!  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Squall: SHUT UP!!!!! (stabs himself and dies)  
  
---in the announcer's box---  
  
" Baba, what in the hell just happened?" asked Beowulf.  
  
" I have no idea! The winner is: Celes' flowers!" exclaimed Baba.  
  
The medics came down to remove the flowers and the body.  
  
Flowers: (sway in the wind)  
  
Moogle #1: Kupo po. (translation: Creepy!)  
  
Chapter 2: The Blitzball of Doom.  
  
" That was the first two fights everybody. (crowd cheers) And this is the next fight," said Beowulf.  
  
" That's right, Beowulf," said Baba.  
  
" That's right? That's right? What in the hell kind of phrase is, "That's right?" asked Beowulf.  
  
" You know, it's one of those sayings. It's one of those catch sayings like in game shows," said Baba.  
  
" Anyway back to the fighting. This next Fight is FFX's (10) Tidus..." said Beowulf.  
  
" VS. FF7 Aeris!" interrupted Baba.  
  
---(well by now you should know) the fighting floor---  
  
Aeris: Mr. Tidus please don't hurt me.  
  
Tidus: No way girl! You'll be my first kill. (runs up and slashes).  
  
Areis: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (damage counter: 15)  
  
Wakka and Lulu run up  
  
Wakka: She has armor!  
  
Lulu: Use Sir Auron!  
  
Wakka and Lulu run away.  
  
Aeris: (anime style sweat drop) What just happened?  
  
Tidus: I have no idea.  
  
Aeris: Oh yeah take this! Fire 2!  
  
Tidus: (damage counter: 3000) uh uh uh. Oh yeah. To bad you're so cute, I'll have to kill you.  
  
Aeris: What you said made no sense.  
  
Tidus: Your too cute. I have to kill anything that is cuter than me! (rubs his hands through his hair. All the girls swoon)  
  
Aeris: Well that makes no sense. Reflect!  
  
Tidus: Take this you cute stealer! Firaga!  
  
Aeris: What an idiot! (Firaga reflects off of Aeris and hits Tidus)  
  
Tidus: Ouch! (Damage counter : 6998)  
  
Aeris: I might even win. Ha. Cure 3!  
  
Tidus: Ha ha ha! I just got cured. (Cure counter: 9999) I'm fully cured.  
  
Aeris: Dang it. Ah son of a Midgar Zolom!  
  
Tidus: Oh yeah Blitz Ace! (Tidus runs up and slashes like crazy)  
  
Aeris: (damage counter 9998) (falls on the ground) Oh no. I can't win. Goodbye Cloud.  
  
Sepheroth (from the stands): Hey I'm supposed to kill her. ME!  
  
Tidus: HA! It's time for you to die! (He jumps high into air) Throw me the ball (spins around as Wakka throws him the ball to kick at Aeris.) Take This! (slips on the ball) Wha, huh, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.  
  
Aeris: What the hell? I'm supposed to lose.  
  
Tidus: (screams like a little girl until he hits the ground and his neck breaks) (damage counter: instant death)  
  
Aeris: Ah hah! I won! What a stupid idiot.  
  
The Moogle Medics run up, and brings many mops. Sweeping up his body and putting him on a stretcher.  
  
" What the hell just happened?" asked Baba.  
  
" I have no clue. This place just gets weirder and weirder," replied Beowulf.  
  
" Well six fights, three incredibly weird victories. Maybe this is just a phase and it, hopefully, will blow over," said Baba. 


	2. Round 2: Bang A Gong, Get it on!

The Ultimate FF Fight: Round Two  
  
Again I must state that I do not own Final Fantasy or anything related of the sort. So get ready to Fight! Nor do I own anything from the Iron Chef Sorry for those who have waited so long for this. I have been busy. Enjoy! -------------------------------------- "After round one the scores are as followed: Zidane vs. Ridia: Ridia is the winner. Flowers vs. Squall: Flowers are the winner. Tidus vs. Aeris: Aeris wins." said Beowulf.  
  
"That's right, Beowulf! The first round was filled with wacky fights. SO let's get round 2 started." said Baba  
  
"Bang a gong the fight is on!" said Fukuisan.  
  
"Who the hell are you!" Beowulf and Baba asked at the same time.  
  
"The next fight is Yuna of FF10 vs. Rinoa of FF8!" yelled Fukuisan.  
  
"Baba...?" murmured Beowulf  
  
"Yeah, Beowulf..." replied Baba  
  
"Who is that man?" asked Beowulf  
  
"I have no idea..." replied Baba  
  
------(on the battle floor)------ Rinoa: Oh look does the little summoner girl want some help?  
  
Yuna: Help? What kind of help?  
  
Rinoa: Help so you can loose. (insert any kinds of evil laughter here)  
  
Yuna: Why don't you stop being a meany!  
  
Rinoa: (insert more laughter here)  
  
Yuna: Take this!  
  
Yuna summons the mighty and powerful Ixion.  
  
Ixion: You called?  
  
Yuna: Yes kill her!  
  
Rinoa: A little pony is no match for the might Aztecian God!  
  
Rinoa summons down Quez from the heavens.  
  
------(announcer's inturupion)-----  
  
"Fukuisan?" asked Ohta the battle reporter.  
  
"Go ahead, Ohta" replied Fukuisan.  
  
"Yes it seems that Yuna has summoned Ixion, a horse with electrical powers. When I asked Yuna about the challanger she said, " well I hope she can put her magic where her mouth is. Back to you." said Ohta  
  
"Well it seems that a battle of the summons has broken out here, Doc what do you think?" Fukuisan said to Doc.  
  
"I think that Rinoa's Quez is going to overpower Ixion and Ixion is going to counter with an Overdrive." said the man commenly known as Doc.  
  
The words Overdrive appear on the screen with a short explaination.  
  
-----Overdrive----- The FFX version of what is commonly known from other FFs as Limit breaks --------------------  
  
"Who the hell are you people!?" yelled Beowulf.  
  
"AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON OUR SHOW!" bawled Baba.  
  
Ohta, Doc, and Fukuisan stared at the hysterical Beowulf and Baba.  
  
------- (interruption over)------  
  
Quez: You summoned me to kill a pony?  
  
Rinoa: You know what they say. Fight lightning with lightning.  
  
Quez: Who the hell said that?  
  
Riona: I have no idea.  
  
Ixion: Hey! Hey! Hey! I am not a simple pony! I am IXION!  
  
Quez: Ixion.? Hey didn't you used to go to Collage for Those Who Want to Learn How to go Become Summons So That People Can Use You to Kill?  
  
Ixion: yeah! Zappa Zappa Zappa  
  
Quez: Hey man that was my frat! Wait weren't you the person who dated my sister?  
  
Ixion: Sure was. DUDE!  
  
Quez. DUDE!  
  
Quez and Ixion left the battle arena talking about their days at the CTWWLHBSSTPCUK.  
  
------ (interruption again) -----  
  
"Fukuisan.?" asked Ohta.  
  
"Go ahead, Ohta." Said Fukuisan.  
  
"To Hell with this" Yelled Beowulf as he walked down the stairs from the announcer's box, dragged Ohta around the corner, and beat him to death.  
  
"What did you just do?" queried Baba  
  
"I killed Mr. Ohta" Beowulf said as he covered a mic.  
  
"Um. Beowulf?" asked Baba  
  
"Yeah Baba." Replied Beowulf.  
  
"Our mics are on our shirts so everybody heard what you just said." said Baba  
  
"Ah Shit!" exclaimed Beowulf as once again he tried to conceal his voice by covering the wrong mic. again.  
  
"They heard that too" said Baba.  
  
----- (returning to the fight)-----  
  
Yuna: I guess I'll summon Bahamut KING OF ALL SUMMONS!  
  
Yuna then begins to laugh like those evil sidekick girls laugh when a nice fizzle come out of her staff.  
  
Rinoa: Ha ha ha ha ha! *drinks an ether* Look who's laughing now!  
  
Yuna: Well you are.  
  
Rinoa: You seemed to have missed the irony of the saying. But for somebody who has a 1st grade reading level that is understandable.  
  
Yuna: SHUT UP! It isn't my fault DR. Seuss (don't own that either) has hard books.  
  
----- (another interruption) -----  
  
"Hey Doc. Why can't Yuna summon any summons?" asked Fukuisan.  
  
"Well it is because she doesn't have enough MP." Replied Doc.  
  
The word MP and its definition appeared on the screen.  
  
MP (a.k.a. Magic Points) Magic points or MP is needed To cast magical spells and Summons.  
  
"Those two die at midnight" muttered Beowulf.  
  
------  
  
"Why does Yuna have MP?" asked Beowulf.  
  
"She has MP because of the no MP-MP conversion." Replied Baba.  
  
"What the heck is that?" asked Beowulf.  
  
"When they were brought here they underwent a MP conversion. Gosh! Don't you people read the instruction manual?" said Baba.  
  
"Who on Earth reads that junk!" exclaimed Beowulf.  
  
Everybody looks at Beowulf with the angry eye.  
  
"He he he he he. mommy" wheezed Beowulf.  
  
----- (end interruption) -----  
  
Rinoa: I summon the almighty DOOMTRAIN!  
  
Yuna: .  
  
Yuna's lack of response is due to the fact that she is huddled into a corner reading Learn Your ABC's, Cat in the Hat, and One fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish.  
  
Doomtrain (DT): EWWW! Girls get them off me! Go away!  
  
Rinoa gives him a father odd look: Are you fugin gay!?  
  
DT: No I am not Gay! I'm just a man lover! Kuja dear where are you?  
  
Kuja (from the stands): Over Here darling!  
  
DT: Gotta go. Duty calls (makes tiger and cat noises)  
  
Kuja rides on DT and they both leave the arena.  
  
----- (yet another interruption) -----  
  
"When the hell did he get back?" asked Beowulf.  
  
"Ten minuets ago." replied Baba.  
  
"How the hell do you know?" asked Beowulf  
  
"Dude, it's on the teleprompter." Replied Baba  
  
"Huh. I gotta look at thing more often." muttered Beowulf.  
  
----- (that was the last one I swear) -----  
  
Rinoa: Oh well I summon Shiva to do my bidding!  
  
Rinoa summons. ah hell you know what happens.  
  
Shiva: Damn it's hot in here.  
  
Rinoa: Get over it and kill her!  
  
Shiva: How? Drown her?  
  
Rinoa: NO! Stab her with ice or something.  
  
Shiva: riiiiiiiight, she says as she puddles and rolls off into a drainage ditch beside the arena.  
  
Rinoa: AH *censored*!  
  
Yuna: So that's how they make babies. Damn stork story!  
  
Rinoa: Fine I summon uh. er. Oh *censored* I'm out of summons.  
  
Yuna: How many fish are there 12? 6?  
  
Yuna puts One fish, Two fish, Red fish, Blue fish, (which she didn't get past the cover of) and picks up a small book entitled Sesame Street's Guide to Counting.  
  
Rinoa: For God sakes Die already! At least Stop reading!  
  
Yuna: *thinks* I will use the power of clever sayings and idioms to fight her! *stops thinking* The pen is mightier than your sword!  
  
Rinoa: I don't use a sword.  
  
Yuna: Umm. You are what you eat!  
  
Rinoa: I didn't eat anything.  
  
Yuna: It is better to loved once than never..  
  
Rinoa got so fed up with Yuna's ramblings that she decided to kill herself rather than listen to her.  
  
----- (interruption. so I lied) -----  
  
"Now for the judgment." Said Fukuisan.  
  
Iron Chef Judgment music starts playing.  
  
"The challenger coming from the World of FF8 to fight Yuna from Spira. Both able to cast magic. Who's done it? Who's magic reins supreme?!" Fukuisan yells into the mic.  
  
Chairman Kaga walks down to the battle arena.  
  
"The winner is Yuna!" exclaimed the oddly dressed Chairman Kaga  
  
Iron Chef Victory music plays and the credits roll.  
  
In the background of the credit you can hear screams and whines of pain. Caused by Our two favorite announcers. ; ).  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Wasn't that fun? Wait and see what happens in Round Three, Gundam Fight READY GO! (If you're dense then I'll have to tell you. Each chapter we'll have a guest announcer. I'll also leave tips so that you might now who it is. You can say it in the review if you want, I really don't care, but have fun guessing who it will be.) I'll also be taking requests for guest announcer starting at the end of the next chapter. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


	3. Round 3: GUNDAM FIGHT READY? GO!

Chapter 3: Gundam Fight! Ready? GO!  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Ok here we go Chapter 3 is up. For those who didn't catch the disclaimer in the last two chapters I don't own anything affiliated with and includes Final Fantasy. Nor do I own anything that is affiliated with or is Iron Chef, G Gundam, and Monty Python. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"If you missed our last fight then here's a quick recap." said Beowulf  
  
"That right." Said Baba  
  
"There you go with that dumb crack head saying again." retorted Beowulf  
  
"Beowulf? I'm am so close to kicking your ass." Said Baba  
  
"Bite me." Said Beowulf  
  
"Doc? What does bite me mean?" asked Fukuisan  
  
"Um I think it is meant to be a snappy comeback when one has no answer. Yep that is what I think." Said Doc  
  
"Haven't you guys died yet?" asked Baba  
  
"Nope, I guess not." Replied Beowulf with a look of shock  
  
"Oh I've had enough of this crap. Security! Security get up here!" Baba barked into his communicator.  
  
A few minuets later and everybody's favorite people come in and drag the two Iron Chef announcers away. and beat them. many times...  
  
"Thank espers that's over. I mean I was about to get buck." Baba managed to say before he was interrupted by the lights being shut off.  
  
"Baba? Hold me. I'm scared of the dark." Said Beowulf as he shook in fear.  
  
"You save the world and you can't stomach a little darkness? What's wrong with you?" asked Baba.  
  
"Well it all goes back to Mr. Poppy Pants..." Said Beowulf  
  
"Oh great! Again with the stupid doll." Interrupted Baba  
  
A spot light started to shine on Beowulf as he gives his sad tale about Mr. Poppy Pants to everybody in the crowd. A person starts playing very sad violin music.  
  
"He was a special doll to me. He went on every job with me. He was my favorite stuffed chocobo plush toy. I received him when I was but a we lad." Beowulf cried.  
  
"Lad? Did you just become Scottish?" Baba interrupted.  
  
". from the mayor of my town for rescuing a small coconut from a large building. Please donate to the Mr. Poppy Pants fund for those who were plush dolls and crushed when the floating continent crashed on to the plant's surface. Thank you." Beowulf stated as he began to cry.  
  
"A coconut? What the heck? You said you lived in a small town, in the mountains. Where the heck did you find a freakin coconut? asked Baba.  
  
"Maybe a two swallows tied it between their legs?" suggested Guard 1.  
  
"Right a two ounce bird carried a two pound coconut." retorted Guard 2.  
  
This time the whole place went dark, again. A spot light was shown on a man wearing a red suit who had an eye patch.  
  
"Last time it was our beloved late Rinoa who fought the young beautiful Summoner Yuna. We found this fight to reveling. Yuna was illiterate.  
  
Now This time we Locke of FF6 to fight Auron of FFX." said the well dressed man.  
  
"Now Ladies and Gentleman. Locke VS. Auron! GUNDAM FIGHT! Ready? GO!" said the man as he pulled off his suit to revile that we looked like a ring leader to a circus.  
  
The G Gundam Music played as the title flashed through the air: The Treasure Hunter VS. The Warrior Monk! Fight On!  
  
------- (company policy) the battle floor-------  
  
Auron: Humph. I have to fight this thief?  
  
Locke: Why do I have to tell everybody, it's TREASURE HUNTER.  
  
Auron: What ever. (Auron pushes up his sun glasses.)  
  
Locke: Idiot.  
  
Auron: Toddler.  
  
Locke: Old man.  
  
Auron: Thief.  
  
Locke:. all out of insults.  
  
Auron: (swings his katana through the air) That's how it's done!  
  
Locke: The battle isn't over. In all actuality it hasn't started.  
  
Auron: I still won.  
  
Locke: How?  
  
Auron: I'm better than you. Nani Nani Boo Boo.  
  
Locke: Why did you just taunt me? Like a two year old no less.  
  
Auron: Cry Now! (Auron runs upt to Locke and slashes him for a measly little 150 damage points)  
  
Locke: Eh? Is that it? That wasn't bad.  
  
Auron: Play Now! (Auron runs up again and slashes mercilessly at Locke)  
  
Locke: (sits down and plays a gameboy while dodging every attack made by Auron)  
  
Auron: hey that's cheating. I'm telling mommy!  
  
Locke: But you said play now.  
  
Auron: I meant pray now.  
  
Locke: You don't want to see me pray.  
  
Auron: Why not? Will you call out the powers of your choo choo train? Or your overgrown electric bird?  
  
Locke: Will you call out your stupid little electric horse?  
  
Auron:... No.  
  
Locke: Then you leave me no choice. I summon Odin!  
  
Auron: Oh no not him. (that's sarcasm for those who couldn't guess)  
  
Odin: You called?  
  
Locke: Attack him and cut him to shreds!  
  
Auron:.  
  
Odin: Ok.  
  
Auron: Hey Odin it's me.  
  
Odin: Auron? Sup man? I haven't seen you since.  
  
Locke: Odin dismissed. Stupid friendship reunions.  
  
------- (interruption) ------- "You know, Baba" asked Beowulf.  
  
"Nope what Beowulf." replied Baba.  
  
"We haven't said anything witty during the fight yet." Said Beowulf.  
  
Baba, Biggs, and Wedge (Biggs and Wedge were the security guards for those who didn't pick up the clues) have fallen asleep due to the lack of fighting.  
  
------ ( we return you to your regularly scheduled fight) ------  
  
Locke: Argh! Stupid Announcers! (Locke casts Ultima at the announcer's box. You can hear many screams of pain)  
  
Auron: Your rely to heavily on your magic. (Auron runs up and slashes at Locke with Mental Break)  
  
Locke: Let me show you the power of the TREASURE HUNTER.  
  
Auron: What is that? You gonna steal a potion?  
  
Locke: Ok then. (Locke runs up and steals a potion, his over coat, and the rest of his inventory)  
  
Auron: Gives those back!  
  
Locke: (puts on over coat) It's big. Too big. I'll get some good money for it.  
  
Auron: Announcers! Call for a cheating move!  
  
Announcers would have likely done so if they weren't writhing in pain from Locke Ultima casted on them.  
  
Locke: Heh, looks like I won.  
  
Auron: No you didn't! The Victory music hasn't played, yet.  
  
The victory music starts playing. Locke: (dances around and around)  
  
Auron: Waaaaaaaaah. (Auron throws a tantrum on the ground)  
  
------------------------------------------------  
  
"Everybody Domon Kassu. er. Locke has won the fight, but what awaits him in the future?" says the man as he fades into the darkness.  
  
"Hey wait are you sure you don't want to stay?" asked Beowulf frantically.  
  
"No!" the man yells as he fades from and then back into the darkness.  
  
"She's a witch! She's a witch!" A large angry mob of villagers picks up Rosa and drags her away.  
  
"She turned me into a newt." Said one villager.  
  
Everybody turned and stared at him.  
  
"I got better." the villager said hanging his head low.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Well now wasn't that fun, hmm? Well I'm taking suggestion for the next guest announcer. You can put it in a review or email me at TGDan@aol.com. Put Final Fantasy Tourney as your subject. No sports announcers! I can't screw with their head to put in the fic. Sorry. And one more thing. I don't hate FFX. I've gotten some pretty nasty e-mail about that. I just think they are the best to make fun of that's all. I personally liked the game a lot. Just had to make that clear. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 


End file.
